My Healing Journey 1/4/2026
It’s a new year. Time to make that New Year’s resolution that you’ll drop halfway through the month.
What if you kept that promise to learn something new, eat healthier, or lose weight? What would things look like today if you kept that resolution last year?
Keep it small and achievable. You can set a new goal when you reach your smaller goals. My goal this year, my resolution, is to keep pushing forward. My mental health is my resolution. To keep pushing forward, letting things go, staying positive, and continuing to live this life to the best of my ability. And to try and do it with grace, peace, and joy. Recently, I have lacked the grace, peace, and joy.
2025 was a struggle. We had our positive, fulfilling moments, and we had those times you don’t really want to look back on. My family certainly went out with a bang. The holiday season tested my depression, and I’ve had a difficult time bouncing back.
It’s challenging to write about my own mental health when I’m struggling and not doing well. I don’t like being vulnerable and exposed. I know how important it is to speak up—normalizing the conversation about mental health to help others have these open and honest conversations with their family and friends. I’ve struggled with depression most of my life, and my family probably didn’t know until I started writing about it. I remember a few years ago, my dad and I having a conversation about someone we knew who was struggling, and he said to me, “I just don’t understand, what do they have to be depressed about?”
“Dad, you can’t judge a person’s depression by what you think they have going on.”
“I just don’t understand; none of my kids have ever been depressed.”
I laughed, “Dad, I’ve been on antidepressants for years, and I’m likely not the only one.” How my father was so oblivious as not to know how much I struggled was baffling. At the same time, I didn’t like to talk about it.
Recently, my depression has been much worse. I’ve had an increase in sadness, irritability, feelings of hopelessness, and an increase in body aches and pains. I had surgery a week before Christmas, and with the stress of the holidays, family drama, and the lack of getting to the gym, everything began to feel overwhelming, and I was drowning in a relapse of symptoms. I felt exhausted from life and lacking interest in longevity. I knew I needed to do something, but I didn’t have the desire to do anything. I feel blessed to work in the mental health field and have the skills to recognize what is going on quickly and rely on my coping skills. Number one, read something positive. I reached for my daily bible verse. I believe it was staring me in the eyes when I opened my phone the other day, so that was helpful. Two, I got to the gym. I’m still on restrictions, so I opted for Yoga Restore. Three, write about it. Here I am. Last, remember what I love about life, thank God every day, even on the days I’m not feeling thankful, and speak positively, not negatively. This is a huge one. I need God and the universe to hear what I’m grateful for, not what I don’t want or need. It’s helping. I am starting to feel better. Day by day, one step at a time.
Most importantly, talk to someone. You’re not alone!
**If you or someone you know is struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988. 24/7 help is available and confidential in the moment.
XOXO
Schommer Life
My Healing Journey 7/6/25
I went to church today.
Last week, I ran into my son’s high school best friend’s father on a bike ride. When I moved to Racine, I ended up about two blocks from them. We chatted briefly, and he mentioned his wife was at a women’s church gathering in MKE, and I thought, how nice. I wish I had a group of women to be with. I asked if they still went to the same church in Kenosha. He said they went right down the road now. It’s walking distance, and he invited me to come and worship with them if it felt right. This church had caught my attention a few times on my walks with the dogs, and I thought I might check it out sometime.
Last night, while reading the bible, the church called to me, and I knew I needed to go. I did a little research on the church and decided I would go to the early mass. If you’ve read my other posts, you know I have mentioned that I don’t feel I must be in a church to talk to God. The world is God’s house, and I can talk to him anywhere. Having a church is for the community and the lessons. My emotions get the best of me when I’m in church, and I feel people are watching me, wondering what kind of pain I’m in. This has made me uncomfortable and led me away from the churches I’ve been to. I just feel things on another level. Everyone has pain and a past; church makes me a very vulnerable person, and I need to feel at peace.
I’ve only felt accepted at one other church, and it was when I was 19 or 20 years old. A friend took me to church with her, and I started going regularly with her for a while. It was a beautiful group of people, and they accepted my strong emotions; in fact, most of them had strong emotions that took over while they were in church, too. This church, where I was today…took my breath away, and when the pastor’s wife started to preach, I felt like she was talking to me. She said, “The Lord told me I needed to say something to someone…”It was a powerful moment. The community of people made me feel embraced, a part of, and safe. To the woman who sat next to me, thank you.
The sermon was on communion. It was a wonderful lesson, and things were mentioned that addressed my post from 7/4/25. I could feel God telling me I could let go of the pain and “bitterness” (a word said a few times in church today), ask for forgiveness, and continue to heal without the pain of the past. When we took communion, we did it together, as a community, knowing why we were doing this and with intentions.
When I walked back outside, I smiled and thanked God for bringing me to this community. The air felt different, lighter, it felt right.
XOXO
Schommer Life
My Healing Journey 7/4/25
The power of change is a daily work of art. My biggest struggle is bitterness. I forgive, but I don’t forget. Bitterness is complicated. This is something I was able to identify somewhere in my late 20s, early 30s, but have not yet found peace with. There are times when remembering how I was treated or the way I may have treated others is important. It allows for growth and offers the opportunity to be a better person, and reminds me not to allow others to treat me the way they did in the past, in the future.
There are other times when a person I have forgiven, does something annoying or in my opinion, stupid, and I open the flood gates to all the shitty things from the past. Does this mean I haven’t forgiven them? It’s not fair that I am holding these past events against them, is it? What if they’re doing the same thing to me? I’ve made some questionable choices in my life. Are they holding that against me? What if my shitty mistakes had nothing to do with them.
All questions that flow through my head, and then I reach to the Universe and God and ask for the strength to let it go! Don’t shut me down because you think I’m going to tell you to follow God. I’m not telling you to follow anything except your conscious. I am here to share my journey with you. What you do with that is up to you. God has always been important to me. I have always spent time talking to God and asking for guidance. The difference I see now is my strength and power to focus on the positive, and knowing God is with me, not against me.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, and I don’t necessarily think that not being able to forget is what causes bitterness. Maybe I have not genuinely forgiven, and that is where my bitterness comes from. As I reflect on this part of healing, I can identify individuals whom I struggled to let back into my life. Family, friends, community, and now I have 100% forgiven and welcome their company and friendship without fear. This feels wonderful, and I believe that in these situations, their acts came from kindness and innocence. Where I struggle is with those who, knowingly or not, are toxic. They thrive on gossip and scandals, and express their feelings with negative beliefs and reactions, and despite their motives, have caused too many issues throughout our time together.
Anyone who knows me knows I have strong feelings about toxic relationships and toxic people. Too many times, I have found myself in a situation feeling angry, only to later realize I wasn’t as angry as I thought I was. I once worked with a coworker whom I very much enjoyed working with. They were kind, ethical, and respected our clients. However, they were the first to point out mistakes they felt management made. The first to discuss negative employee relations, lack of confidence, and integrity, and the last to adapt to any change. Working with this person was often a revolving circle of chatter, followed by frustration and dissatisfaction: “You’re right, why am I not upset with that?” Only after this person no longer worked with the agency was I able to see this vicious circle and realize how toxic the environment had become. I felt the weight lifted and resilience restored within our team. I believe everyone deserves a second chance; however, time and time again and my trust will be lost. Loss of trust equals inadequate relationships and ineffective communication. The connection is interrupted, conflicts are unresolved, and emotional distance becomes thicker and heavier. Only once you can place all these concerns on the table, are you able to heal and move forward with a healthy relationship.
So, what do you do when the other person isn’t able to recognize your feelings and you’re unable to end the relationship? This is where I ask God for the guidance and wisdom to accept what I am not able to control. Put it in God’s hands. Remind myself to stay positive, to breathe, and to be grateful that I have the self-awareness to not be that toxic person. In the end, I will be able to find peace, while the toxic person will only continue to assign blame. Pray for them as you pray for yourself and all those surrounding you. Ask God to show them guidance and wisdom to make positive choices, and to release their toxic behaviors. The power of change is a daily work of art. I ask the Lord to release me from my bitterness, to forgive and to find peace.
Proverbs 27 & Romans 12
XOXO
Schommer Life
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My Healing Journey 6/22/25
I have long believed in the power of positive thinking and the consequences of bad juju. Many years ago, I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, and have read it many more times since; this book aligns with my beliefs and values. I cannot pinpoint exactly when the Law of Attraction became a way of life for me, but I know when I started working on change. I encourage everyone to read The Secret, and have read it with a few people to discuss and encourage change in others. I often explain this philosophy to my friends and family reminding them that they could adapt this philosophy to their God and beliefs. The point is to manifest what you want, not what you don’t want by sending the Universe, your God, Buddha, or Vishnu the correct message. Using the Law of Attraction, or what I would rather call, the power of positive thinking, became a way of life. This has been my coping skill, my healing grace, my way of prayer, and I go back to the basics when I need a reminder of my personal mission, values, beliefs, and what I am bringing (or lack thereof) into my life.
I have struggled with depression, self-doubt, and self-shaming most of my life. This has made it difficult for me to socialize, make friends and has held me back in many areas of my life. At times I feel socially awkward and find it difficult to express my true self. People mistake this with my chatty and loud personality, and don’t believe how difficult it is for me to be in a group setting. Don’t confuse overtalking anxiety with being outgoing and extroverted. With my depression came my lack of love for myself which led to unhealthy and broken relationships throughout my life. I was in my 40’s before I truly understood I needed to love myself before I could love another. I needed to find happiness in myself and to be comfortable alone. I needed to focus on self-care, hope, confidence and trust. When I realized what I needed, I started to heal and see changes happening for me. My healing process has been contingent with my beliefs and values including the law of attraction and prayer. I do not feel I need to be in a sanctuary or church for prayer. I believe the world is Gods house; I can talk to God anywhere.
What is the law of attraction? There are so many books about the law of attraction. Take your pick, I bet they’re all great and they’re all going to tell you the same thing. What you ask for is what you’re going to get. Positive thoughts equal positive outcomes. Negative thoughts equal negative outcomes. My go to is The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I feel connected and empowered when I read this book. It is becoming more natural to be positive and grateful for the life I have, and to tell the Universe and God how grateful I am. I get up and do something. I no longer feel sorry for myself. I am my biggest advocate. I recognize when my mental health is not at its best, and get back to the basics. This has been the most powerful and prevailing way to connect with myself, God and the Universe.
Over the past two years, I have found myself drawn to the bible. I’ve read passages in the bible over the years. My mother raised us catholic, but I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do with that. I’ve found a couple bible study books, and have started to end my day reading a passage in the bible. Recently, I realized my focus on the law of attraction and prayer are connected. However, I looked up the law of attraction vs the bible and found considerable information contradicting this. The law of attraction is said to be one being selfish and only thinking of oneself. That’s not at all what my focus is. When I ask God for peace, I ask God for peace for all. I don’t feel selfish or greedy, but I do make my intentions clear, or at least I do my best to make them clear. You have to do the work too. Opportunities will present to you, take them; however, you must also work hard for those opportunities to become available. The law of attraction directs you to focus on yourself and what you want, God directs us to work hard. Put these together and tell the Universe and God what you want, focus on the positive, do the work and lead the beautiful life God has provided for you. Get in the boat! (If you know, you know)
I have worked for the same nonprofit for 14 years, and have received many opportunities to grow and become a leader within the agency. I have worked hard to prove my dedication, loyalty and commitment. Things have not been handed to me. I have earned these opportunities, and I am grateful them. Give a little, receive a little. Malachi 3 and Corinthians 16 explains we must not be greedy. We must be grateful and giving. God is promising believers that give, not out of duty, but out of generosity, they will receive. I will say it again. Tell the Universe and God what you want, focus on the positive, do the work and lead the beautiful life God has provided you. Be intentional, join me in making changes. Become your best, for you and those you love.
XOXO
Schommer Life
Change 9/24/2024
I haven’t been writing much. This I need to change. I want to take charge and be present in my work. At the start of the summer, I made myself a promise to slow down and enjoy life. I slowed down on one job, however, between preparing my youngest for her college journey, and my second job, I was busier than ever!
I’ve been back to teaching driver’s ed for over a year now. They needed help, and I was available, so I went back. As much as I enjoy teaching, I cannot continue to work 70+ hours a week, and I love being at the group homes, and do not want to give that up. I made the difficult decision to take a step away from teaching at the end of the year.
I’ve spent the past few weeks rereading the “THE SECRET” by Rhonda Byrne (my go to book for inspiration and the law of attraction) and have also been reading “SIGNS” by Laura Lynne Jackson. These books have helped me remember my purpose, my goals, and forgiving myself for mistakes I’ve made. Tonight, I went back and read my blog posts to remind myself how far I’ve come. Change is so difficult, but when you begin to hit milestones, and love the way you feel, all the challenges come into focus. I have worked hard to make the changes I’ve made. I continue to work hard to continue to see change in myself, and I have found love in myself. This, I am so grateful for. To those who are with me throughout the change movement, I thank you and remind you that we’ve got this! Beautiful things are coming.
XOXO Schommer. Life
The love I have for you is unconditional 8/7/24
Where has the time gone? A question we all ask ourselves when we feel it slipping away. I sit and reflect on the years of parenting. The good times and the bad. The good choices, the wrong choices. I can see clearly my child’s face, looking up at me with innocence and trust, and it catches my breath. The most important people in my life have become adults and are in the driver’s seat, guiding their own journey. A bittersweet time in life. A difficult time, learning to trust that I have taught my children to lead them toward success, health and happiness. My heart races, and I think about all the things I haven’t told them yet. They have everything they need to learn, over time, with and without my guidance.
To my children, the love I have for you is unconditional.
The wisdom I give to you is necessary.
The Change Movement 5/7/24
I’ve had a couple of come-to-Jesus moments, or reality checks if you prefer, over the past couple of days. On Saturday evening, while painting my bathroom, I thought, damn I’m exhausted, and then thought about everything I had accomplished throughout the day.
I cut the grass, frosted a cake, attended a 1 y/o birthday party, searched a park in the heat for my daughter’s phone (I didn’t find it, but she did the next day), did a Home Depot run, and painted the bathroom. All this, after a 72-hour work week (two jobs). Today, while talking to a friend, she said, “That’s like two full-time jobs”. I’m not complaining. I did realize though, I need to slow down! How do you even enjoy life when you’re moving so fast? I enjoy being busy. It keeps me from getting lazy, but I probably don’t need to be this busy. So, I am making myself a promise that I will slow down and enjoy the summer and I hope those of you in the same position will make this promise with me.
I also realized, after that same friend pointed it out, I am still self-shaming. I called myself stupid and gross today, on two different occasions, and she called me out. Thank you by the way! Self-shaming isn’t anything more than being bullied by yourself. What good is that? What am I telling the Universe and God when I treat myself with such a lack of respect? I’m telling them, I’m happy with being stupid and gross. If I’m happy with myself this way, why would they guide me toward change? They’re not. I also do not believe I am either of these things. I will continue to work on myself and know that I am a smart independent and strong sole, and can do anything I put my heart and mind to.
I use the words Universe and God because I believe in both, and believe that both the Universe and God have the power to hear and guide me, to make decisions that will benefit me, and bring the results I am looking for. While I at times may use a term you may not agree with, you can exchange that term with your beliefs and celebrate the same results. The power of prayer and the power of positivity are what have supported and guided me to write these words and share them with you today.
I left off in my last post with encouragement to change and talked a little about my journey over the past three years. I continue to work on me every day. Change and the fight against depression are something that requires attention every day. When I get lazy or forgetful, it surfaces and tries to trip me. Sometimes I fall, my goal is not to not fall, but to get back up, the quicker the better. Lately, my struggle is my weight. I was on a good track last year and lost, I think, about 30 pounds. I quit smoking on February 1st and took a break from running at the beginning of March, and I have gained all I lost plus a few more and am at my heaviest right now. This makes getting back out there even harder for me, but today I choose to do it. I love being outside, so when the weather is perfect, it’s easier. I got out today to do my old routine, but couldn’t jog much of it. I walked most of the 4 miles and jammed out to my 90’s music. I felt great when I got home, and I know with work I can get back to running instead of walking.
I do my best thinking while I’m outside jogging, walking, or running. I thought about how difficult change has been for me. Thought about all the changes I have accomplished, and decided, I will continue to make changes. I know I can get back to running, and lose this weight. I can make healthier choices, and these changes along with slowing down at work, will help my energy levels, and my hope and bring me joy. The one thing that’s missing is a great group of friends to do it with. Here is my promise to you. If you would like to make a change, and partner in supporting each other, send me a message. Text, call, email, or comment. I am not selling anything. I am not promoting anything. I am creating change for myself and inviting you to do the same. We can do this together.
We got this!
xoxo Schommer.Life
Grief 4/28/24
Death takes you down a dark road, and when you hit the fork, sometimes you stumble the wrong way for a while. Everyone grieves differently, so how do you help those you love through it? Keep being there. Know their feelings are real, valid, and are not always easily understood. Being there helps, and remember, everyone grieves in their way.
I am a divorced widow. Yup, that’s a thing. Greg and I had a different relationship. We never stopped loving each other, we loved each other a little differently after our divorce. We took pride in raising our kids together and at some point, that became more important than taking care of ourselves. Our kids are the most important, but if you aren’t taking care of yourself and checking in on each other, how are you supposed to care for anyone else? We did our best, and I believe we both wish our best was better. Greg loved his children, both of them! He loved his family, both of them! Despite all the love, Greg surrendered to his depression and took his life on February 26th, 2021.
I had no idea how to help my kids through the grief. I was afraid to talk about Greg unless they brought him up, and I didn’t want to bring more pain if they weren’t thinking about him. Both of the kids healed on their own time and continue to heal each day in their ways. I tried my best, but as a parent, I think you always wish you would have done or said things differently. We all did our best.
Then a ton of bricks hit me, and my depression had me at the throat. I got out of bed to do what I had to, and then I climbed back into bed. I called my sister crying and so angry more times than I knew. I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life, and I recognize when it’s bad. It was bad. I kept thinking about what I could have done differently to save him. To save my children from their pain, and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because he was my ex-husband, people didn’t understand. I needed to make a change to get myself up and moving again. This realization was the beginning of my journey of change. Changes to make things happen. Changes to bring dreams alive. Changes to bring happiness and survival back into light.
This my friends, was the beginning of new life, a new faith, and a new attitude. I still think about him every day. I still dream about the things I wish were different. I do this now without punishing myself and without anger. This is the journey that brought us here together. Whatever it may be, whatever you are going through, we are here together.
You are important. You are loved. Your life matters.
I started teaching driver’s ed and this brought a lot of joy and purpose to my life, but it wasn’t something I wanted to do forever. I thought about what I wanted my life to be.
My son went to Full Sail University, and I had my eye on the creative writing program since he started school. I had been thinking about this for a few years, and I finally leaped. I started classes for my BFA in Creative Writing in September 2021, and on December 14th, 2023, I graduated. December 14th also happens to be my son’s birthday. If that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is.
I worked hard for this achievement while also working on myself. I began to find inner peace and learned to love myself for the first time in my life. I started to look at how I wanted to live, and what I wanted for myself and for my family. Going back to school, and reaching for the dreams I had since I was a child, has been the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I have many ideas and things I want to do, and I hope to bring you with me through the rest of my journey (I plan on it taking many years and enjoying every minute of it).
During the approximately two years I was going to school, I continued to work full-time, and my youngest daughter was in high school. We were busy! I kept teaching driver’s ed for about a year into classes and then had to drop that to keep up with everything else. I didn’t mind it, and I don’t think I complained very much. I stayed on track and only took two months off during the program. I found my love for audiobooks when I didn’t have time to read for pleasure and now, I listen to the radio in the car on the rare occasion. I got back into the Secret and reminding myself to be grateful instead of bitter and jealous. Jealousy will not get you anywhere and being bitter doesn’t give you answers. It didn’t happen overnight, but little by little, day by day, I found more happiness and joy in life. I started to become more active, and in April of 2023 I started to run, or well jog…
I could only jog for 30-seconds in the beginning. 30-second jog, 1-minute walk, repeat. 30 second jog, 1-minute walk until I gradually made it one mile. Then two miles, and you got it, I was running a 5k three times a week! It was slow, but I didn’t care. Being able to do this meant I could do anything I set my mind to.
I am not sharing to brag. I do not disregard how difficult change can be. I know how powerful depression is. I am here sharing because if one person reads this and feels empowered to change, I have met my goal. I’m here to be understood, to be heard, to share my lived experience, and bring hope and change to others.
**If you or someone you know is struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts. Please reach out to 988 the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988 24/7 to talk to free and confidential support for anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts, mental health, and /or substance use crisis. IN THE MOMENT
Schommer.Life 